It's been too long!

But summer has kept me from being on the computer a whole lot. Plus, my life hasn't been exciting enough to blog anything.

School starts in a week for the kids and I will have all my kids in school ALL day for the first time ever. That's 20 yrs. of always having at least 1 kid home with me. I am excited for this new phase of life, but it is bittersweet. Everytime I see a baby I miss having a baby. But, I also am glad that I don't have bottles, diapers, strollers, baby bags, car seats, and cribs anymore. My dh and I are feeling a new found independence. It is still weird though. My baby is going to be in 1st grade!!!! WOW!!!

My two oldest dd's and I start college the day after the other kids. I am excited! I'm taking Advanced Music Theory, Music in the Elementary school, private piano instruction, Acapella Choir, and Fitness for life, my last PE credit. Then I'm taking one institute class.

Other than that, life has been hard. I have changed meds for my pmdd and it has been hard on my body, but I can feel it getting somewhat better. I think changing meds will be good eventually, but the initial start up has whipped my butt. I read a story about a woman with bipolar and it took her 17 yrs. to find the right mix for her. 17 yrs. of hell to find relief. I don't know if I can handle much more of this rollercoaster ride of pmdd. I know I am still in denial about giving in to the limitations of this disease and making the best of it. I still find myself in the "life's not fair, why me" thinking a lot of the time, which I know is not good to my mental health. I just need to accept this new path and do what I can to make the best of it. People are doing it everyday. I just can't seem to get it. School will help me feel productive, so that will be good.