School starts tomorrow

I've had a nice spring break since Wednesday. Now, it's time to get back to work. It's gonna be crunch time from here on out. I have 3 big projects in Music theory that I am quite nervous about. Then I have one big paper in my Social Work class. Choir tour comes on March 24th-26th, and I have to add all this to my kids school stuff. I just don't feel on top of things like I want to, but I do know that I can do this. I have to. Music theory has been more difficult than ever and I feel so inadequate to the task. I've got to rid myself of this perfectionistic attitude and know that I can do my best and pass the class. I will pass it. Once I'm done with this I will be done with theory all together. Yay!

I played the Raindrop Prelude by Chopin in a group performance class week before last and had a major anxiety attack. Now I get to go out and play in at least 10 different settings to get some exposure (as my teacher would say). That's the best thing for performance anxiety. I know that. But, it's getting past the anxiety to perform that gets in the way. My teacher said she'll give me an "A" if I do this and also perform in the next performance class. I need this A to offset the grade I'll probably get in theory. I want to keep my GPA up for future scholarships.

Choir has been a blast and we're going to go down to Moab, Green River, and Price for a 3 day tour. I'm not excited about the places we're going, but the fact that we're going sounds like so much fun.

My Social work class has also been really good for me. We are doing 15 hrs. of volunteer work in a government agency and then doing a big paper on it. That has been fun too.

Concerning my PMDD, my dr. decided to change my BC pills because they found problems with the Yaz. It is supposedly affecting potassium levels, cholesterol levels, and some blood pressure. So, they are trying me on Loestrin 24 fe. I've only been on it for 5 days now and I am not feeling so well. More cranky than usual at this part of my cycle, plus more depressed. I don't know if it's the meds or life, or stress. I constantly go through all the possibilities and struggle to figure it out. I'm giving this new med a good try and then when I go in for my physical in May, I will see if I level out again. Man this is frustrating. I hate feeling hopeless and not knowing why.