Wow, this is me for sure!

You Are a Turkey Sandwich

Conservative and a bit shy, you tend to stick with what you know and trust. You are very introverted, and you prefer to blend in whenever possible. Though you may be hard to know well, anyone who does know you considers you a true friend. Your best friend: The Ham Sandwich Your mortal enemy: The Tuna Fish Sandwich

What Kind of Sandwich Are You?

Two posts in one day....WOW!

I've never done this before, but I wanted to post about the last week. The 4-5 days after Kylie's death were very difficult emotionally, but I was able to talk and work it out with a lot of people while I awaited my visit with my therapist on Monday. This visit was very good!

I also was able to visit with some friends that knew Kylie and that was very theraputic. We sent messages in balloons up to the heavens for Kylie.

So, all in all things are better and I am hoping my meds work better for this next month concerning my pmdd.

I will also be absent next week for Young Womens Girls Camp. This will be my 6th year. It has been a ride!

Celebrating 21 yrs. of marriage

Today is the day. I am so grateful for my dear sweet husband for staying by my side for the last 21 yrs. And I am also grateful for my committment to him. I feel like our lives together have brought a lot of joy, love, trust, and of course hardship. The hardships have taught us many great life lessons, so I cannot be ungrateful for them. Our children are now 20, 18, 16, 14, 11, 8 and 6. We have 2 graduated from HS now and on to college and life. We have grey hairs and many wrinkles to prove our growth and maturity through the years. LOL! We've both pledged to age gracefully, but I'm getting to the point where coloring my hair is becoming an option. heehee!

All I know now is that this life has been more bearable with him in it. Life has been brighter with his love for me AND my love for him. I am excited for the next 21 and more yrs. with him!!!

Life is HARD!

Kylie is gone. I can't stand it! I feel betrayed, only because the feelings of my mom's own attempt at suicide when I was 17 hurt so much. Too many memories surfacing that I haven't felt in a long time. One of the biggest things that has kept me from following through with any of my own depressed, suicidal thoughts is the way I felt as the child/loved one hurt by the mere attempt by my own mother. I hated her for doing that to us. We loved her so much and she still tried to leave us. I don't want to do that to my own family. But what if things get so bad that I can't think of anything else? I know Kylie loved her family!! I learned over time and with some maturity that my own mother loved us!! But, it still hurts so much that someone can get into a situation where suicide is the only answer. I don't ever want to arrive at that point! I can't even believe I've ever thought about wanting to come to that point. Depression stinks! I hate it! I want to fight it, but I get so tired some days and it becomes so easy to want to give up. It scares me to even think about it! I am praying so hard that this medicine will help me. I want to be me again! Here I went through all this counseling and thought I was going to be okay, and now this hormonal crap!

There's a lesson in this, I know, but I still hate what it's doing to me!

I love you Kylie and pray you have found peace!