I'm done............ for now.

I finished my FINAL final today. Yay! I've had a Saturday class this semester and I hated it. I've decided that Saturdays are precious and I won't do it again unless I absolutely have to. I did manage to pull a B+ out of my Fitness class. That's a big one for me since I've never liked anything P.E. I don't mind working out under my own terms, I've just always hated P.E.

I begin classes again on January 3rd. So, I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the break. Well, after all the Christmas hoopla is over at least.

Haha!

I found this on another blog and thought it was so funny. Mostly because my memory these days is suffering. Could it be my age? I'll be 43 in a little over a month. Wow!

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they are physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. "Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?" he asks.

"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

"Sure."

"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks.

"No, I can remember it. "

"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?"

He says, "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that. Write it down," she says.

Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down -- I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream! I got it, for goodness' sake!"

He toddles off to the kitchen. Twenty minutes later the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment and asks, "Where's my toast?"

Finals are upon me.....

The last few weeks have been filled with work, work, work. Finishing up final projects. Now it's time to study for the 3 finals (tests) I have next week, and then this semester will be over. It has been a tough semester but I am so proud of myself for finishing and doing well. (so far) Final grades will probably be posted after Christmas. Or right before. Whatever grade I get, I'm glad I worked hard and know that I did a my beest, no matter what the grade. It is so satisfying.

My school choir has sung in three different concerts this last week and that was a lot of fun! But, as you can imagine, I'm plain worn out.

I had to write an original compostition for my theory class, and I wrote "Christmas Lullaby" I am so happy with it. I thought I would share the words:

Once upon a time, long ago,
A star shone bright, an angel glowed.
Telling the shepherds upon the hill,
A child was born, to save the world.

Fair little Jesus, Child of God.
Laid in a manger, swaddled in cloth.
Wrapped in the arms of his mother so dear,
Tiny baby,
Savior,
Jesus.

My pmdd battle still rages on, but I have found in the last couple of months with my acceptance of my limitations, that I have found a new freedom. Freedom to rest when I need to and not feel guilty. Freedom to ask for time out. Freedom to accept the Lord's will for me. Freedom to do the best I can and know that I'm am still a good person.

The Savior wants me to "Come unto Him" and I will find peace. Any lesson that helps me gain peace is a lesson I want in my life!

Thanksgiving is upon us and I wanted to list some things I am grateful for this year:

*My dear sweet husband who has been by my side for 21 yrs.
*My children who have given me some of my greatest life lessons.
*Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I have become a better person because of it.
*My Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ who lifts me everyday.
*My brain. After all these years it's reassuring to be able to go back to school and do well.
*My extended family who loves and supports me and my family. I couldn't ask for any better!
*My calling in Young Women's because it has made me a better mother to my teenagers.
*My nice, warm, soft, cozy bed.
*My nice, warm, cozy home.

There is so much more, but these are at the top of the list.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving everyone!

I can't wait!

YUM!



Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Today is my 3rd dd's birthday!

I can't believe I have another dd so grown up. She's 17 and is so cute and bubbly. She has been such a joy to our family!

I love you Shelby!

Thoughts for the day

These have really uplifted me this week:




"A miracle is not the suspension of a natural law,
but the operation of a higher law."

"Experience is what you get when you don't get
what you want."

I am learning new stuff everyday...

School has been very difficult this semester which adds a lot of stress to my life, but I have to keep saying "I think I can" because I know it will be worth it in the end!

Having depression and anxiety in my life tends to make it, and everything else, even more challenging, but I know there's a purpose in everything and I am trying to find it. It has definitely made my perspectives on life and in the gospel more understanding and open to what Heavenly Father understands and what I understand. He knows all and I don't. This is definitely making me a less judgemental person, and that alone is a miracle. I have seen growth in the struggle and today I'm in a good place. I can't tell what tomorrow will bring, but I do know one thing....that whatever it is, If I give it to my Father in Heaven, after all I can do, he will be there. I have learned so much about "grace" and the part it needs to play in my life. I just have to remember that Heavenly Father knows what He's doing and when I put my trust in Him, it all works together for good.

My life in a nutshell...

1. School is dang hard this semester. (I don't know why I need another challenge?!?!)

2. I've finally figured out what I want to do when I grow up....I'm changing my major to........Social Work. I'm finally goin' for the Bachelors.

3. I still love music, passionately, and it was a good thing to start back to school with. I will still take classes in music for fun, but it really was never what I wanted to do as a career.

4. Halloween was a blast this year. Our school had a fall fest which the kids loved and trick-or-treating was so easy with older kids and great weather.

5. Pmdd still sucks and I'm still struggling with finding a good mix of meds, but I'm finally coming to acceptance and I feel freer. It's all about accepting my limitations and realizing I'm still a good person.

6. My kids are all happy in school and that's makes my life easier.

7. My house is mess because so much of my energy is going to school. Oh well.

8. YW's keeps me busy in all the extra time I might have otherwise. But, I love it!

Life moves forward quickly and I look forward to Thanksgiving... spending time with family, eating good food, and no expections. Just togetherness!

It's been too long!

But summer has kept me from being on the computer a whole lot. Plus, my life hasn't been exciting enough to blog anything.

School starts in a week for the kids and I will have all my kids in school ALL day for the first time ever. That's 20 yrs. of always having at least 1 kid home with me. I am excited for this new phase of life, but it is bittersweet. Everytime I see a baby I miss having a baby. But, I also am glad that I don't have bottles, diapers, strollers, baby bags, car seats, and cribs anymore. My dh and I are feeling a new found independence. It is still weird though. My baby is going to be in 1st grade!!!! WOW!!!

My two oldest dd's and I start college the day after the other kids. I am excited! I'm taking Advanced Music Theory, Music in the Elementary school, private piano instruction, Acapella Choir, and Fitness for life, my last PE credit. Then I'm taking one institute class.

Other than that, life has been hard. I have changed meds for my pmdd and it has been hard on my body, but I can feel it getting somewhat better. I think changing meds will be good eventually, but the initial start up has whipped my butt. I read a story about a woman with bipolar and it took her 17 yrs. to find the right mix for her. 17 yrs. of hell to find relief. I don't know if I can handle much more of this rollercoaster ride of pmdd. I know I am still in denial about giving in to the limitations of this disease and making the best of it. I still find myself in the "life's not fair, why me" thinking a lot of the time, which I know is not good to my mental health. I just need to accept this new path and do what I can to make the best of it. People are doing it everyday. I just can't seem to get it. School will help me feel productive, so that will be good.

Wow, this is me for sure!

You Are a Turkey Sandwich

Conservative and a bit shy, you tend to stick with what you know and trust. You are very introverted, and you prefer to blend in whenever possible. Though you may be hard to know well, anyone who does know you considers you a true friend. Your best friend: The Ham Sandwich Your mortal enemy: The Tuna Fish Sandwich

What Kind of Sandwich Are You?

Two posts in one day....WOW!

I've never done this before, but I wanted to post about the last week. The 4-5 days after Kylie's death were very difficult emotionally, but I was able to talk and work it out with a lot of people while I awaited my visit with my therapist on Monday. This visit was very good!

I also was able to visit with some friends that knew Kylie and that was very theraputic. We sent messages in balloons up to the heavens for Kylie.

So, all in all things are better and I am hoping my meds work better for this next month concerning my pmdd.

I will also be absent next week for Young Womens Girls Camp. This will be my 6th year. It has been a ride!

Celebrating 21 yrs. of marriage

Today is the day. I am so grateful for my dear sweet husband for staying by my side for the last 21 yrs. And I am also grateful for my committment to him. I feel like our lives together have brought a lot of joy, love, trust, and of course hardship. The hardships have taught us many great life lessons, so I cannot be ungrateful for them. Our children are now 20, 18, 16, 14, 11, 8 and 6. We have 2 graduated from HS now and on to college and life. We have grey hairs and many wrinkles to prove our growth and maturity through the years. LOL! We've both pledged to age gracefully, but I'm getting to the point where coloring my hair is becoming an option. heehee!

All I know now is that this life has been more bearable with him in it. Life has been brighter with his love for me AND my love for him. I am excited for the next 21 and more yrs. with him!!!

Life is HARD!

Kylie is gone. I can't stand it! I feel betrayed, only because the feelings of my mom's own attempt at suicide when I was 17 hurt so much. Too many memories surfacing that I haven't felt in a long time. One of the biggest things that has kept me from following through with any of my own depressed, suicidal thoughts is the way I felt as the child/loved one hurt by the mere attempt by my own mother. I hated her for doing that to us. We loved her so much and she still tried to leave us. I don't want to do that to my own family. But what if things get so bad that I can't think of anything else? I know Kylie loved her family!! I learned over time and with some maturity that my own mother loved us!! But, it still hurts so much that someone can get into a situation where suicide is the only answer. I don't ever want to arrive at that point! I can't even believe I've ever thought about wanting to come to that point. Depression stinks! I hate it! I want to fight it, but I get so tired some days and it becomes so easy to want to give up. It scares me to even think about it! I am praying so hard that this medicine will help me. I want to be me again! Here I went through all this counseling and thought I was going to be okay, and now this hormonal crap!

There's a lesson in this, I know, but I still hate what it's doing to me!

I love you Kylie and pray you have found peace!

Thought for the day

"Never be afraid to try something new.
Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark.
A large group of professionals built the Titanic."

I know, I know

It's been way too long since I blogged. Life has been hectic, and way too challenging lately. School and finals took up a lot of my time, but they're over and I am grateful for the break. I chose not to go summer semester and I am feeling good about being home with my kids. It was nice to get my school over with and have this last month of my kids' schooling without the stress of my school. They have plenty of activities to keep me busy.

PMDD has kept me a slave the last two months and has been very difficult on me. I have been so depressed, that I become a hermit, a recluse and can't function. (one of the reasons I have stayed off the computer) I have been avoiding seeing another doctor because I just thought no one could help me, but I finally went to see a gynecologist and now I have some hope for fighting it. I am going to be put on birth control. A new one called YAZ. It has been tested and reported to help 21 of the symptoms of pmdd. I start in a week and can't wait to see if it helps me. I have great faith in this and know that Heavenly Father is watching out for me.

Right now

I'm sitting here at school in the computer lab after attending one of my professors vocal recitals. She is an awesome teacher and tonight was really nice to hear her sing. I've been told that if I'm a music major, I must immerse myself in music. I have done so. In the last month I have borrowed many CD's of great composers from the library, and I have also had the opportunity to attend 3 concerts, all very different in style. It has been fun, but very time consuming when you add it to a family of 9 and a school schedule. But I feel so deeply that music is like a kindred spirit to me. I not only hear it, I taste it and feel it. It moves me! So, I know that right now I'm doing the right thing! It feels good.

This is one of the reasons my blogging has decreased a bit. The other reason is that since getting a new YW presidency in January, we have been swamped with lots of things to do. Again, FUN, but time consuming.

Now for the Academy awards speech...I must send out a huge thanks to my dh who is an amazing support in all of this. He wants me to spread my wings and fly. To my children who think it's cool that mommy is going to school at the same time as them. And to my Father in Heaven for the gifts and talents and blessings he has given me in music, motherhood, marriage and Young Women's. What a blessing a family is!

Who am I?

I think this is awesome and of course got the idea from the amazing Denise whose blog is fantabulous! I have to give credit where credit is due!

I was amazed at how close this visualDNA was to the real me. I thought it was fun!

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Solemn day

Yesterday my good friend and neighbor lost her mother. She was on a flight and her mother passed away before she could make it there. This has really made me reflect on my own mothers' passing 14 yrs. ago. Last week at our Stake Women's conference Living Legends from BYU came to perform for us. It was beautiful. When they sang a song in Maori, I started to have a real longing for my mother. So now, having my friends mom die, brings it even closer to home. I miss her. My heart is aching for my friend because I know what she is going through. I guess you would call that emphathy instead of sympathy. And while I'm glad for this compassion that can only come from experiencing it, I miss her. I was at a mall the other day eating lunch with my 5 yo, and I saw all these mothers eating lunch and shopping with their own daughters and grandkids in tow. I felt lonely and lost. I don't know why it is hitting me so hard this week. Every now and then it hits me, like it will for the rest of my life. It is only a reminder of what a wonderful person she was. I miss her because I love her. I know that through the gospel of Jesus Christ, there is hope through the sorrow. I will see her again. I can go on because of that hope.

~My mother 20 months before she died~she adored her grandkids!

Some of the wonderful qualities she had were:
~Compassion
~A kind heart
~Courage through her illness

What do you admire about your mother?

10 things that make me smile...

The love of my life


My children


My pets



Music


Autumn in Utah


Chocolate


Going back to school


Getting good grades in college


LOVE!


The Gospel of Jesus Christ


What makes you smile?

Line upon line, precept upon precept

This weekend we had our Ward Conference and our Stake Women's conference. It was a very uplifting weekend for me. The focus for Ward conference and one of the speakers for the women was on Temple work.

It is a good reminder of:

~Every stone laid for a Temple is another reminder of who is in charge, God, and who isn't, Satan.
~The importance of the work for our ancestors.
~The importance of building a testimony.
~The importance of the organization of the church and how every ordinance is built upon eachother. God knows what he's doing!
~The importance of repetition.
~The importance of remembering Christ in our daily lives.

Leah Thinks

So I decided to try and google myself like Denise did in her blog,which I found hilarious, and this is what I found:

Leah thinks she is staying up until 3

The instant and powerful mutual attraction soon blossoms into love. He wines and dines her and captures her heart. Just when Leah thinks she’s finally found ...

Leah thinks her husband will honor her now that she has given him six sons.

Leah thinks being the youngest child made her independent. “I wanted to be something different,” she said. “I’ll always stick myself out there.” ...

Leahs hypocracy if this article is true is beyond belief,maybe leah thinks making porn is a more respectable way of getting fame and respect..so much ... (Bwahahahaha!)

Just when Leah thinks she’s finally found happiness, her world spins out of control. She becomes the target of terror and is stalked and tormented. ...

Leah thinks (and hopes) the body belongs to her sister, missing for 16 years.

Leah thinks I'm dying, I'm afraid.

Leah thinks that Maria and Craig are just camera hogs (she calls them in a confessional).

Leah thinks the yard needs more water (even though it just rained). She got out the sprinkler and dragged the hose across the yard to hook it up. ...

Leah thinks I'm just a set of monkey bars. (Huh?)

Leah thinks shes pregnant. (NOT!)

Leah thinks she is hot stuff standing at the table by herself. (Ya got that right!)

Leah thinks her mum is menopausal.

Leah thinks I'm a major nerd - but I know she secretly thinks I look hot in the uniform.

And I could go on and on and on. There were 789,000 hits for my name. I only got through 80 of them.

Try it! I had fun!

Valentine's day

The day started out really nice. I wrote some romantic stuff for my dh on our bathroom mirror and attached a card. My 5 yo thought that was the coolest. Went to class, then came home 2 hrs. later to go to lunch with dh. (he got off work for me) Best way to avoid the holiday crowd, and still enjoy eating out. We hung out the rest of the day and into the night. After we put the children to bed, we settled in for a nice evening together.:o) When, from out of nowhere, my 14 yo son yells, "W, said 5 yo,just threw up!!" OMHeck! It was everywhere, including all over my 14 yo's trombone case and bed. It took us an hour to clean it up. You can bet the romance was gone after that! So, here's a tip: Don't let your kid eat all his valentine treats in one evening. Vomit and romance don't mix. BTW, he was fine the next day.

What is a super taster?

If you google the word "super taster" there is plenty of info regarding this phenomenon. I have always wondered why I didn't like some vegetables, and finding out about the super tasters' tongue made the light come on in my head. So, I have forbidden my dh from calling me a picky eater anymore.

Here's what one website had to say:

Super taster
When your child, patient or co-worker balks at eating spinach or broccoli, put it down to bad taste. You may be dealing with a "super taster" whose taste buds are highly tuned into - and turned off by - bitter compounds found in foods such as pungent vegetables, grapefruit juice, wine, green tea and strong coffee.

"About 25 percent of the population are genetically programmed to be super tasters who sharply detect bitter compounds in food," said Dr Adam Drewnowski, Director of the Nutritional Sciences Program at the University of Washington, Seattle, USA, and an expert on taste and food choices. "Half of the population detects these compounds to some degree and another 25 percent don't detect them at all."

What makes super tasters so bitterly sensitive to foods? Compared to their less discriminating colleagues, super tasters' tongues are packed with many more fungiform papillae, the little bumps on the tongue that house the taste buds. About two-thirds of super tasters are female and the sensitivity often fades with age. One theory is that, in years gone by, super tasting served as a survival mechanism. "Perhaps the characteristic discouraged pregnant women from eating poisonous plants or berries, which tend to taste bitter," said Drewnowski.

Ironically, many of these bitter substances are disease-fighting phytochemicals that may be beneficial to health. Super tasters can help the vegetables go down and optimise nutrient intake by adding a little oil or margarine to their dish. According to Drewnowski, fat improves the flavour of vegetables by masking the bitter taste.

Are You a Super Taster?

Try this test to see whether you're a super taster.

Using a hole punch, punch a hole in the middle of a 5-cm square of waxed paper (lunch wrap). Place the hole on the tip of your tongue. Swab some blue food colouring on the exposed part of the tongue and, using a magnifying glass and a flashlight, count the number of fungiform papillae (the pinkish circles). Super tasters will have dozens of papillae; non-tasters will have only five or six.

That's what I get

For reading Denise's blog. Now I have been tagged. And the same rules apply for my blog...if you have not been tagged yet, and you are reading this, you have now, officially been tagged. Return and report!

So, six unusual things about me:

1. I had more adult friends in my childhood than friends around my age.

2. I have 7 children. In this world today, that is certainly unusual.

3. I am an "on the side" type of person when it comes to going out to eat. I like to control how much stuff goes on stuff, like spaghetti sauce, or how much condiments go on a sandwich, or dressing on salad.

4. I am a very physical person. Meaning I like to hug and also give physical contact when I am talking to someone. Like a touch on the shoulder, arm, or shake a hand. But I will not do it if I know someone is uncomfortable with it. I am also a cuddler. I love to cuddle with my dh, babies, and kids.

5. I am a super taster. No, not a picky eater...a Super Taster!

6. I love calendaring. I have a big calendar, I have a PDA, and I have my PDA calendar on my computer. I love looking over what's coming up.

I dreamed a dream...

I had a dream last night in which I was going to teach a short lesson at a preschool and be graded on it. As I got there, there were other students doing the same thing. As my turn came up, they all of the sudden decided they needed lunch and I could do my thing after. Throughout the whole dream I was waiting for my turn and never got it.

Now, this would not be signigicant if I wasn't trying to figure out what to do with my schooling and my future. It has been on my mind a lot lately.

Let's rewind about 25 yrs. All I ever wanted to do was be a teacher. Either Preschool or Elementary Education. I love teacing! Easy.

When I was preparing to go back to school last Spring I was ready to start in Elementary Ed., with an emphasis in Early Childhood. Except, I couldn't get my schedule going. Nothing seemed right. I was not at peace. Stupor of thought. I was so frustrated. Then, one Sunday morning, as I was fasting, my stupor of thought left me. I was listening to some church music and feeling way overwhelmed at the prospect of even going to school, and it hit me. Like a ton of bricks. I needed to major in music. Why? I don't know! I still don't know! All I do know is that what I am doing right now is right! Peace, no stupor, no frustration. Everything is flowing.

So, back to the dream. Is this just another reminder that I am doing the right thing for right now? That teaching school will not be my destiny? I still have the thought every now and then to finish my associates in Music and then go into Elementary Ed. But I can't find any peace in that thought. At least not right now.

I have always been a preparer. And, I like knowing the outcome. In this case, I am being humbled into trusting in the Lord's will. Doing what he asks of me and trusting that I will be lead to do the right thing. All I have really ever wanted to do is to serve the Lord and his people, and build up his kindgom here on earth.

I have a friend who is a Psychologist (Dr. Paul) and he sends out a weekly ezine in my email. I love everything he has to say, but some things hit me like a ton of bricks. Like today. This is what he sent:

"Robert Kiyosaki in his book, Before You Quit Your Job, gave this advice regarding mistakes: So every time you make a mistake, stop, and take the opportunity to learn something new, something you obviously need to learn. When something does not go your way, or something goes wrong, or you fail, take the time to think. Once you find the hidden lesson you will be thankful for the mistake. If you are upset, angry, ashamed, blaming someone else for the mistake, or pretending you haven't made a mistake, you haven't been thinking hard enough. Your mental capacity hasn't expanded enough. you haven't learned the lesson. So keep thinking. (p. 37)"

This goes along with what my therapist said: "Our trials are the schoolmasters of our lives. Let them teach you."

Since going back to school I have had to learn this important lesson even more than ever. It has really helped me understand that nothing is perfect in this life. I can't make every assignment perfect. I will make mistakes. And instead of downing myself, I can look upward to my Heavenly Father for help and understanding as to how my failures, and trials for that matter, can make "weak things become strong." (Ether 12:27)

There is a lesson to be learned around every corner of life and I am determined to graduate this life with plenty of knowledge and a "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."

My opposite birthday

Yesterday I turned 42. I thought about the things that were happening when I was 24 and here is what I came up with:

The year was 1989
I was much younger
No grey hairs on my head
Not a wrinkle in sight
I was a mother of 1
I was 6 mos. pregnant with #2
I had been married for 2 1/2 yrs to the love of my life
I lived in a 2 bedroom apartment that cost $250 a month rent
We owned a brown Toyota Celica
I was a stay at home mom
My dh was a recent graduate of BYU and working as a Produce manager

Best song that won the Grammy was "Wind Beneath my Wings"
"Rain Man" won the Oscar
CMA's entertainer of the year was George Strait
LA Law was the outstanding television drama series

The Berlin wall was open to the west after 28 yrs.
George Bush was inaugurated the 41st president of the US
cost of a first class stamp was 25 cents.

Now in the year 2007:
I am much older
Plenty of grey hairs on my head, but I haven't broken down YET to color my hair
Plenty of wrinkles
Mother of 7
No more pregnancies for me
Married for 20 1/2 years to the same love of my life
I live in a 4 bedroom, 18oo sf home, that cost more than 3X's the rent I use to pay
We drive a 1990 Chevy 9 pass. Suburban
I am a stay at home mom still and going back to school to get my degree. Wow!
My dh changed careers and now works for the state. But, still works in the produce dept., at the same grocery store, as a part timer.

I don't watch and keep up with entertainment much anymore, but George Bush Jr. is now president and a first class stamp now costs 39 cents.

As I look in the mirror I see plenty of change.

As I look at the world, I see even more change. Computers, cell phones, internet, Credit cards galore, more wickedness and despair than I even thought possible 18 yrs. ago.

As I look at my growth I see the biggest change of all. I have more faith, more hope, more love, more blessings, more friends, more knowledge, and more to look forward to.

So, here's to another year of growth and change.

The Book of Mormon

This year one of my goals is to read the BOM. I am reading it with my dh. Every time I read it I get more and more out of it. This is the beauty of repetition. We go to the temple and do the same things over and over, yet I get more understanding.
I love the BOM and I am excited to see what I can gain from it yet again. The gospel is such a blessing to me.

I know from experience that my life is meant to be challenging. Look at all the events in the BOM. It is really teaching me so much right now.
I had a bishop once tell me that no matter how bad I feel about what is happening to me, that there will always be someone else who has it worse.
Take this family for example:

http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=830228

The pain and suffering is unimaginable, but I know they will get through, because this is part of life. So, this must mean that I will get through. "The Sun will come out tomorrow" as "Annie" would say. No matter how corny it sounds, it's TRUE! Heavenly Father gives us hope. The BOM gives us hope. The gospel of Jesus Christ gives us hope. That is what I need to hang on to right now. I just need to be patient.

When it rains it pours!

What is it with this saying? I'd appreciate a sprinkle now and then. Forget the black cloud that hangs over our home way too much. At least way too much for our bank account. Between the regular stuff to budget, we need a car...our washer fixed...braces...glasses...wisdom teeth out...school fees paid off...etc...etc. So, I prioritized our needs and I continue to pray that maybe braces and glasses can get to the top of the list. If everything else would stop coming up, or breaking, then maybe there would be a chance in heaven. I don't see it. I'm pessimistic today.

No wise words of wisdom to ponder. Only juggling. Juggling an armload of stuff with an umbrella that is too small, and I'm getting soaked!

Thought

A formula for a successful life:

Wake up
Show up
Follow up

I like it!

Who, with success in their lives, hasn't followed this mantra? No one I know!

Enough said.

Fear...

I started a new class today. Conducting. I'm excited and terrified. Standing up in front of a group of people who are looking to you to direct them can be quite intimidating. At least I think so. This is my first real experience. Now, I have directed music for Young Women's, and primary, and Relief Society. But never in Sacrament meeting. Never a choir. I can't even comprehend it. But it's coming. This class will push me into it. My teacher is the conductor in our ward. He is very good at what he does. Why I write this, is because he said something very profound today...

Fear is good, because it means you are in a growth experience. Let the fear push you to learn and grow.

My first reaction is, 99% of the time, when I'm faced with fear, I want to run. Run fast, run far, run away. This statement has made me rethink that strategy.

Example: I knew I needed to go back to school. I had received inspiration, and support from my family. If I would've given in to my fear, I wouldn't be back right now. I'd be sitting home in the wish mode. Wishing is thinking, but not doing. I want to be a doer, not a wisher.

So, fear will drive me to be uncomfortable, standing up in front of people I don't know (yet) in my class, to be judged and analyzed as I learn a new aspect of music. I will let my fear drive me to success.

Oh, I'm scared!

New Picture

And I took it by myself.

Me.
Almost 42.
Loving school.
Lots to do!

Goals for 2007

*Read the Book of Mormon
*Exercise 3-4 times a week
*Teach my children more about the gospel
*Deal with change better
*Maintain a better self-esteem
*Go to the temple once a month
*Laugh
*Love
*Live

Happy New Year!

What I learned in 2006

*Life is definitely like a rollercoaster.
*Although the rollercoaster can be scary, it can be fun.
*Life is what YOU make of it.
*My family loves me despite all of my faults.
*I have a brain that works.
*My eyes have been opened to chronic pain, and what it can teach me.
*Our life here on earth is all about learning, enduring, and overcoming.
*Life is fragile.
*A life lived with faith and hope is a happier one.
*A life lived with the gospel of Jesus Christ is a better one.
*God helps people through people.
*Love in a marriage is much deeper after 20 yrs. If people would just give it a chance.
*To have love in a marriage is a blessing.
*What I am learning from being a mother to 7 I cannot learn any other way.
*Friends can lift you up in times of sorrow.
*Paying tithing really can bring about miracles.
*People will try to hurt you, but you can choose how to react.
*Heavenly Father abandons no one.
*Love is eternal.
*I can do this!